Scales falling, coal burning...

On my journey with Christ I am pondering, so much grey. I don't think about why bad things happen to good people, why there is suffering, or why have I had so much pain, rather why did God call me?
Isaiah 6: 5-8 "Woe to me", I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty. Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for." Then I heard the Lord saying, "whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here I am. Send me.!"
Saul's conversion....Acts 9 Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord-Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here-has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit." Immediately something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength. "
When God calls us.... For me it was a defined moment in time. God called me home. I saw him in His holiness, perfectness, yet not so distant, His arms were outstretched, and He said, "My child, come to me" I laid down all of my burdens my pain and embraced My Father. For the first time in my life, my lips were cleansed by the coals, burning down into the depths of my soul, the scales miraculously fell from my eyes. I saw His holiness, His love, HIM. Ahhh the miracle of conversion, when Jesus embraces your soul, takes away all your sin, all that is imperfect, He bears our weight, even though he can see into the depths of our soul. 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new Creation, the old has gone, the new has come!"
So I can rejoice in Jesus, that He is willing, if I allow, to call me His. We mustn't forget the reality of it all though, Paul writes to Timothy, 1 Timothy 1:15, "...Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst." Haven't we all felt this way? I can say I have. Thankfully in our weakness He is made strong....2 Corinthians 12:8-10 “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I know I don't have all the answers, but He called me to be HIS. That in my weakness, He will be glorified. It is so scary to let God has His ways, you must be willing to "delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10. That might just be the scariest prayer I have prayed, have me God, do with me as You want, that I may glorify You, may I delight in my weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, that You may be glorified.